Why I want all our children to read the King James Bible

The good book should be read as a great work of literature – but it is not a guide to morality, as the education secretary Michael Gove would have us believe

For some reason the Richard Dawkins Foundation for Reason and Science (UK) was not approached for a donation in support of Michael Gove's plan to put a King James Bible in every state school. We would certainly have given it serious consideration, and if the trustees had not agreed I would gladly have contributed myself. In the event, it was left to "millionaire Conservative party donors".

I am a little shocked at the implication that not every school library already possesses a copy. Can that be true? What do they have, then? Harry Potter? Vampires? Or do they prefer one of those modern translations in which "Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, all is vanity" is lyrically rendered as "Perfectly pointless, says the Teacher. Everything is pointless"? That is Ecclesiastes, 1:2, as you'll find it in the Common English Bible. And you can't get much more common than that, although admittedly the God's Word translation provides stiff competition with "absolutely pointless" and the Good News Bible challenges strongly with "useless, useless".

Ecclesiastes, in the 1611 translation, is one of the glories of English literature (I'm told it's pretty good in the original Hebrew, too). The whole King James Bible is littered with literary allusions, almost as many as Shakespeare (to quote that distinguished authority Anon, the trouble with Hamlet is it's so full of clichées). In The God Delusion I have a section called "Religious education as a part of literary culture" in which I list 129 biblical phrases which any cultivated English speaker will instantly recognise and many use without knowing their provenance: the salt of the earth; go the extra mile; I wash my hands of it; filthy lucre; through a glass darkly; wolf in sheep's clothing; hide your light under a bushel; no peace for the wicked; how are the mighty fallen.

A native speaker of English who has never read a word of the King James Bible is verging on the barbarian. In the week after the 2011 census, my UK Foundation commissioned Ipsos MORI to poll those who had ticked the Christian box. Among other things, we asked them to identify the first book of the New Testament from a choice of Matthew, Genesis, Acts of the Apostles, Psalms, "Don't know" and "Prefer not to say". Only 35% chose Matthew and 39% chose "Don't know" (and 1%, mysteriously, chose "Prefer not to say"). These figures, to repeat, don't refer to British people at large but only to those who self-identified, in the census, as Christians.

European history, too, is incomprehensible without an understanding of the warring factions of Christianity and the book over whose subtleties of interpretation they were so ready to slaughter and torture each other. Does the eucharistic bread merely symbolise the body of Jesus or does it become his body, in true "substance" if not "accidental" DNA? Prolonged wars have been fought over how we should interpret the words allegedly uttered at the Last Supper. Three bishops were burned alive just outside my bedroom window in my old Oxford college for giving the unapproved answer. Centuries-long schisms were based on nothing more serious than the question of whether Jesus is both God and his son, or just his (very important) son. Even bloodier wars were fought against a rival religion that sees him not as God's son at all but just reveres him as a prophet.

I have an ulterior motive for wishing to contribute to Gove's scheme. People who do not know the Bible well have been gulled into thinking it is a good guide to morality. This mistaken view may have motivated the "millionaire Conservative party donors". I have even heard the cynically misanthropic opinion that, without the Bible as a moral compass, people would have no restraint against murder, theft and mayhem. The surest way to disabuse yourself of this pernicious falsehood is to read the Bible itself.

Do you advocate the Ten Commandments as a guide to the good life? Then I can only presume that you don't know the Ten Commandments. The first two – "Thou shalt have no other gods before me" and "Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image" – come from a time when the Jews still believed in the existence of many gods but had sworn fealty to only one of them, their tribal "jealous" god.

"Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy": this commandment is regarded as so important that (as our children will learn when they flock into the school library to read the Gove presentation copy) a man caught gathering sticks on the sabbath was summarily stoned to death by the whole community, on direct orders from God.

"Honour thy father and thy mother." Well and good. But honour thy children? Not if God tells you, as he did Abraham in a test of his loyalty, to kill your beloved son for a burnt offering. The lesson is clear: when push comes to shove, obedience to God trumps human decency, to say nothing of obedience to the next commandment, "Thou shalt not kill". This is the only one of the commandments that many devotees actually know. Its obviousness was appropriately mocked by Christopher Hitchens, but my imagination hears the response of the Israelites to Moses in the voice of Basil Fawlty: "Oh I SEE. Thou shalt not KILL. Oh how silly of me. You see, before you came down from the mountain with the tablets, we all thought it was perfectly fine to kill. But now that we've seen it written on a TABLET, well that makes all the difference. Thou shalt not kill, well, who would have thought it? Oh silly me … etc etc."

In any case, the commandment meant only "Thou shalt not kill members of thine own tribe". It was perfectly fine – indeed strongly encouraged throughout the Pentateuch – to kill Canaanites, Midianites, Jebusites, Hivites etc, especially if they had the misfortune to live in the Promised Lebensraum. Kill all the men and boys and most of the women. "But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves" (Numbers 31:18). Such wonderful moral lessons: all children should be exposed to them.

"Sophisticated" theologians (what is there in "theology" to be sophisticated about?) now treat these horrors as parables or myths, which is just as well. But many fundamentalist Protestants still take them literally and positively state that, if God told them to kill their own children, they would obey. Hard to believe, but it is fully documented in a brilliant film, In God We Trust?, by Scott Burdick. Other theologians will accept that the Old Testament is pretty horrible but will point with pride, and nods of approval from all sides, to the New Testament as a truly righteous moral guide. Really?

The central dogma of the New Testament is that Jesus died as a scapegoat for the sin of Adam and the sins that all we unborn generations might have been contemplating in the future. Adam's sin is perhaps mitigated by the extenuating circumstance that he didn't exist. In any case it never amounted to more than scrumping or, depending on your theology, seeking knowledge – which a minister of education should surely consider a virtue. But the unmistakable message is clear. We are all "born in sin" even if we no longer literally believe, with Augustine, that Adam's sin came down to us via the semen. And God, the all-powerful creator, capable of moving mountains and of begetting a universe with all the laws of physics, couldn't find a better way to lift the burden of sin than a blood sacrifice.

In the words of Paul, the inventor of Christianity (or whoever really wrote the Epistle to the Hebrews), "without shedding of blood, there is no remission". And the scapegoat couldn't be just anybody. The sin was so great that only his son (or God himself, depending on your Trinitarian theology) would do. It was necessary for God to come "down" personally to Earth and have himself tortured and executed, after being "betrayed" (though why it was a betrayal since getting himself executed was the main purpose of the visit, is never explained, nor is the millennia-long vendetta against Jews as "Christ-killers").

Whatever else the Bible might be – and it really is a great work of literature – it is not a moral book and young people need to learn that important fact because they are very frequently told the opposite. The examples I have quoted are the tip of a very large and very nasty iceberg. Not a bad way to find out what's in a book is to read it, so I say go to it. But does anybody, even Gove, seriously think they will?


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Richard Dawkins the arch-atheist backs Michael Gove’s free Bible plan

Author of The God Delusion says providing free Bibles to state schools is justified by its impact on the English language

It sounds like one of the most unlikely alliances of recent years. Richard Dawkins, arch-atheist and scourge of the praying classes, has announced support for education secretary Michael Gove's plan to send free King James Bibles to every state school.

The proposal aims to help pupils learn about the Bible's impact "on our history, language, literature and democracy" and will celebrate the 400th anniversary of the authorised version's publication, Gove said earlier this year. Church leaders have approved, but the plan has fallen foul of most non-believers. An online Guardian poll showed an 82% opposition, while the National Secular Society said the £375,000 proposal wasted money and favoured Christianity in multi-faith state schools. Nevertheless, several rich Tory party donors agreed to back the plan and the first Bibles were sent out last week, to the derision of secularists – with the exception of their most prominent and pugnacious recruit: Richard Dawkins, author of The God Delusion and critic of all things clerical.

As Dawkins reveals in today's Observer, support for the Bible plan is justified on the grounds of literary merit and he lists a range of biblical phrases which any cultivated English speaker will instantly recognise. These include "salt of the Earth", "through a glass darkly", and "no peace for the wicked". Dawkins states: "A native speaker of English who has not read a word of the King James Bible is verging on the barbarian."

Rapprochement would seem to be in the air – until Dawkins's thesis is studied more closely. While Gove believes the Bible is a guide to morality, Dawkins is sure it is not. "I have heard the cynically misanthropic opinion that without the Bible as a moral compass people would show no restraint against murder, theft and mayhem. The surest way to disabuse yourself of this pernicious falsehood is to read the Bible itself," he says.

In fact, its pages are riddled with the advocacy of murder, slavery and theft. Hence his support for Gove's plan: opening the Bible is the surest way to put young minds off its contents. From this perspective, the Dawkins-Gove alliance looks dead before it started.


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Well, That’s One Solution

(Video Link)

How do you deal with having outside cats when you live in an upstairs apartment? Well, you could teach your cats to just wait outside your lobby for you to get home…or you could train them to grab on tightly to a chair and make a budget kitty elevator. It might not be as practical, but it sure is cooler.

Via I Can Has Cheezburger

Fed up with imperial

Lord Howe is right. Get rid of it in time for the Olympics. Stop weighing babies in currency. But leave me my speed of light, please

I gained a niece and a nephew in the last few weeks. They were about the normal size for babies, which is about 8 pounds plus a few shillings. I know this is roughly what babies often weigh. But I do not know why we weigh babies in currency.

Also this week I have had two moderately bad hangovers, one after Manchester City's ridiculous behaviour on Sunday, and the other because I met some people in the pub after Mark Henderson's book launch. If I had not been confused between pints and litres, I am sure I would have behaved much more sensibly. Probably.

Seriously, it does bother me, that we still partly use the imperial system. I am glad that Lord Howe of Aberavon has spoken out.

We teach a sensible and economic system of measurement in schools. Young children can relate small distances to large ones using simple powers of ten. Same for weights, volumes etc... Later they can relate quantities to each other and calculate things like density, speed and energy while having to remember a minimum of arbitrary conversion factors. Scientists and engineers all round the world use this system*.

Then, having passed their exams, they go to the pub to celebrate. The pub is a mile (about 19,296 yards, or three times as many feet) down the road and they are served beer in pints (about 78 and three eighths fluid ounces). It's just not fair.

What really grates is that I can't get some imperial measures out of my head. Like the baby thing. What does an average baby weigh in kilogrammes? (About three and a half, but I had to look it up, even though one of my kids was born in Germany.) The pint of course is another, though I really don't get miles.

The worst is the speed of light. I know it's about 3 times 108 metres per second, or 300 thousand kilometres per second (see how easy that was) and that's what I use in most real sums at work. But it is also about one foot per nanosecond, and that's such an easy thing to remember I use that too. For instance, we have proton-proton collisions in the ATLAS detector every 50 nanoseconds. The detector is nearly 50 metres long, which is more than 150 feet. So before even the fastest particles produced in one set of collisions have left the detector, another lot are on the way. Also the cables carrying the data are long; the whole electronics for reading out the data has to be really tightly syncronised or we will get confused as to which bits of data belong to which collision.

This is why one foot per nanosecond sticks in my mind. But it's a nice number anyway. For example if your computer is running at a few GigaHertz, it is making a few billion operations per second. This means each operation takes of order a nanosecond. Which, given my laptop is about a foot across, tells you that the time taken to send signals to the screen, or to peripherals, is not negligible - it's comparable to the clock period of the processor. Not big news I suppose, but it gives me at least the illusion of understanding a bit more about what's going on in there.

Anyway, Lord Howe is right when he says we should sort this out, though I'm not sure it would be top of my list of things to get done before the Olympics. Probably House of Lords reform would do more to modernise our image.


* Except when they don't.


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Robot Can Use The Microwave

Today nuking food in the microwave, tomorrow nuking humanity for world domination!

Seriously though, what more can we ask from our robot pals now that they've mastered the skills of microwaving frozen food?

IEEE Spectrum's Automation blog reports:

Herb, the Home Exploring Robot Butler, has been hard at work at Carnegie Mellon's Robotics Institute learning how to be, well, a home exploring robot butler. Siddhartha Srinivasa's group has effectively ended robotics research as we know it by teaching Herb to microwave frozen food.

Link (with video clip) - Thanks Evan!

Now This Guys Is A Real Game Master

The best thing about Youtube user 16bitghost’s absurdly huge gaming set up is that the 24 console areas still aren’t enough for his PS3. Seriously though, how do you even switch between them all on your TV system? I get annoyed just going between the DVD player, cable, Wii and X Box, I can’t imagine flipping through all of these options.

Link Via Geekologie

Not on Facebook? Researchers Can Still Probe the “Shadow Network”

So. You're not on Facebook - perhaps you're concerned over their privacy policy, or just don't want to be found and marketed to - but before you pat yourself in the back for being one of the holdouts, you should know that just because you're not on Facebook, it doesn't mean that it doesn't know about you.

Theoretically, of course.

Fred Hamprecht of Heidelberg University and Germany and colleagues used data of tens of thousands of Facebook users to see if they could find out "shadow connections" of people who don't use the service:

Using the network structure of four of the university campuses, a machine-learning program picked out attributes that seemed to predict whether two non-members knew each other, such as how many members knew both of them and how many knew one but not the other. The program used only the relationships between members and the email data, both of which a social network company could access.

When the researchers then used the program to predict links between non-members in the remaining college Facebook network, 40 per cent of the predictions were correct. By contrast, they calculate that using a random guessing approach, just 2 per cent of suggested connections would be right.

Link 

10 Brilliantly Upcycled Coffee Tables

There’s nothing boring or predictable about the design world these days, particularly when it comes to environmentally-conscious furniture.  To wit: whether you just moved and completely redecorated but ran out of room in the budget for a new coffee table, or you love bowling and can’t stand the fact that your local alley is closing, or you proposed to your wife atop the Golden Gate Bridge and wish there were some way to commemorate the moment in your home since there weren’t any cameras present, there’s a coffee table out there for you (or, at least, someone who can customize one just for your needs).  Moving pallets are all the rage in inventive furniture design at the moment since they’re generally perfectly stable structures made of strong wood, and companies like CounterEvolution and the Golden Gate Bridge Furniture Company have made niches for themselves crafting furniture out of reclaimed wood from bowling alley lanes and… well, obviously, weathered metal cast-offs from Golden Gate Bridge renovations.  Wonders never cease, and neither does the resourcefulness of some of the craftiest minds in the marketplace today. And now, without further ado, we present you our curation of ten brilliantly upcycled coffee tables.

Upcycled Spool Top Coffee Table from MFEO via Etsy

 

 

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Coffee Table from Upcycled Shipping Pallet Creations

 

 

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Coffee Table Made from Occidental Stove - via Pairs of Chairs

 

 

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Manhattan Reclaimed Bowling Lane Table from CounterEvolution

 

 

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Painted Pallet Coffee Table via Design Finch

 

 

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Reclaimed Metal Coffee Table by Golden Gate Bridge Furniture Company

 

 

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Rock & Roll Tour Case Coffee Table from HipCycle

 

 

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Upcycled British Ammunition Box from Something or Other via Etsy

 

 

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Upcycled by Lucy Turner Team Cornwall Coffee Table

 

 

Authentic Golden Gate Bridge table found at Golden Gate Bridge Furniture Company.

JJ Clark, wunderkind

Old Treasury Building Melbourne, Gil Meydan
[ Old Treasury Building, Melbourne. Gil Meydan ]

A young John James Clark arrived in Melbourne in the early 1850s with his family, emigrating from Liverpool. At the age of 14, he visited the Colonial Architect’s Office with a map of Liverpool he drew for school. He was hired and there began a six decade career in architecture.

Andrew Dodd recently released a book on Clark, based on his PhD. Its launch coincides with an exhibition being held at Clark’s master work, the Old Treasury Building, designed when he was just 19.

Having looked through the newspapers of the time, Dodd was unable to find anything to suggest that anyone thought it odd that such a young man would gain such a commission. He suspected this has something to do with the exodus of skilled professionals from the city to the gold rush up the road. But there was also a different attitude towards youth…

“We were talking about a period when young people were given many more opportunities than they are today.”

To hear an interview with Dodd on By Design, go here

For exhibition details, click here

To purchase Dodd’s book at Readings, click here

For a gob-smackingly impressive list of Clark’s work, click this.